Hurricane C

Growing up too fast

2010-04-26T11:05:00.000-07:00

RK saw me crying and said 'Don't cry amma'; in that tone which only he can use - part concern, part command.
And later RK told me 'Dont be sad amma, RK is with you'.
Later that evening he said 'RK is your friend amma'.

Yest I asked you to call appa to get ready to go for a haircut. You were busy playing. After a couple of mins I got up to go call him and you said 'No no amma'. You proceeded to push me back into the room and made me sit on the couch and then went out and passed on the message accurately. I didn't even have to tell you again. Now I know you are listening even when you are busy playing!

You developed a good command over language early on. I sometimes wonder if that is what mislead us at times into treating you like you were older than you actually were. It is still the case a lot of times. This is such a vulnerable age and I cant help thinking if we are doing things right. It is one of those where we do the best we can at that moment given our limitations and knowledge set and we will not know the impact of that decision till it is too late to change. Maybe I am just melancholy. But there are times when I realize how inconsistent we as parents can be and how confusing that can be to you. I am sorry.

Toddler Talk II

2010-04-14T08:38:00.000-07:00

1. I heard some noise that sounded like water dripping and I was asking DT about it. RK chimed in 'Appa, come we will check it out'!
2. We were playing with his animals, RK and I and RK pointed to one animal and said 'this is Horse amma'. By the time I could correct him (it was a goat) he said 'No sorry goat'. I was amazed that he knew what context to use that sorry in.
3. 'Cow gives milk amma'. 'Yes kanna (endearment). That's right'. I respond. 'Cow gives milk to RK; cow gives coffee to amma' he said.
4. Post dinner one night I was cleaning up the kitchen and the lil one was running around my legs eating a strawberry. He wanted me to sit down and play with him. He said 'Sit down amma'. I obliged. After a couple of mins I started to get up again and he said 'Sit quietly amma'. And I sat laughing softly:-)
5. One Saturday morning we were playing and my pal called. She and I were chatting up and RK comes to me and says 'No phone amma'. He wanted me to keep the phone down and play with him. As simple as that.

6. Hasta la vista animals - This started as a way for me to get RK to leave an activity he was busy pursuing to change a diaper or eat dinner or have a bath etc. I didnt want to drag him away and he would always start a protest for every such situation. So I said 'Ok RK we need to say 'hasta la vista' and 'I'll be back' to the animals. And then we can come back and play after...' He caught on to that and for a couple of weeks used it on everything. There was hasta la vista elephant, tiger etc.; hasta la vista train, hasta la vista book and so on. The best part is the way RK said 'Baby'! He said it like 'Bebe-ee'.

Sense of humor

2010-04-08T08:22:00.000-07:00

A couple of months ago you had just finished dinner and started playing with your animals. And then you said 'Giraffe va grass chaapada vechutaan RK.'. (I kept the giraffe to graze). You then looked up at me and said 'Giraffe kku bib pottu vidu amma'. (Put on a bib for the giraffe amma). I looked at you funny and then you started laughing. It was so funny and you knew it.
You and me were going through what sounds all the animals make. Then you said 'Amma, bull says?'. And I asked you back 'What does the bull say RK?'. You responded 'Bull says bull bull' :-)
Another time when we were reading a book you have on farm animals, I told you that paapa (young) goose are called 'gosling' and on the next page I mentioned young ducks are called 'ducklings'. We turned the page and there was a chicken with some chicks on it. You said 'Paapa chick kku peru chickling' and you laughed with your pearly whites showing and your eyes all smiling. And once I laughed, you made this joke many times afterward and still do :-)
Yesterday we were driving back home after a weekday dinner out. Dinner out is a rarity these days (consciously so) and on a weekday even more so. But DT and I had a stressed out week and so needed a break. Anyways, on the way back you did something really cute and I said 'Amma loves RK'. I then looked over at DT driving looking handsome with a new haircut and clean shaven etc and said 'Amma also loves appa'. You responded 'Nooo..'. I said 'Yes, amma loves RK and also amma loves appa'. You responded this time with 'Amma, don't love appa'. Needless to say DT and I burst out laughing and thankfully you are not old enough to take offense and you laughed too :-)

Of shopping tantrums and pink shoes

2010-03-29T17:41:00.001-07:00

Over the last couple of weeks we landed up making 3 shopping trips. And each was just that - a trip! Here are the stories.
1. Trip to the mall to buy RK clothes for his b'day - We left early so we could come back in time for dinner. DT was great about getting dinner ready so we could leave as soon as I got home. RK sat in the stroller for exactly 5 mins. The first tantrum was to walk and by himself too without holding hands. So somehow we reached the store we wanted to go to after 15 mins or so with RK walking/running by himself all over and exploring. At the clothes store he was a doll (can I say that about a boy?) and sat and watched a little bit of TV and even stood up so DT and I could measure the pants on him! Bright t-shirts in red, orange and green were bought. One with a mammoth (elephant for RK) with a googly eye even! As we proceeded to leave the store, me with the bags and DT with the folded up stroller, RK wanted to be carried. 'Thooki' he demanded. We smiled and rolled our eyes at each other. 'Thooki' he screamed and we gave in. DT carried him and we came home exhausted but happy with our purchases.
2. Trip to buy RK shoes. We had planned this for the first trip but one tantrum later we left. And this had to be another trip. RK has been wearing the same shoes for almost a year now and we figured it was time to get him a bigger pair. Again it took us a good 20 mins to reach the last store in that line of stores at the mall with RK walking/running by himself half the way. He also wanted to get on and off the escalator all by himself. And then as we were nearing the store he demanded to be carried. My patience at an end, DT carried him the rest of the way. Once in the store, for the first couple of pairs that I selected RK cooperated by trying them on. By that I mean he would obligingly wear a pair and then run away into other aisles to tease me. He then picked up a pink pair of slip-ons with a big glittery flower. This must have been a good 4 sizes bigger than his size. RK then threw a tantrum demanding we buy him that one! He stretched himself out and stomped away! LOL... DT had a great time with that - teasing me and egging him on. Anyways we walked away with a boring grey pair with a yellow streak for color and a standard black pair of open sandals. Joys of having a boy here in the US!
3. Trip to buy b'day gifts for upcoming b'day parties. We had 3 kids to buy gifts for. We went to the local Walmart. There RK saw a puzzle that he has. And next to it a similar one but different from what he has. RK wanted the puzzle so DT got it out and asked him what everything on the puzzle was etc. And then we had to keep it back since we were not planning to buy him a toy. He just had a b'day and has enough of them. Besides this puzzle was similar to one he already has. (Why am I explaining this here?) However RK wanted it. He started to throw a tantrum and was distracted by the chalk that we bought for him. He then threw a tantrum at the billing counter for keeping the chalk on the billing counter. It didnt help that the cashier was most unhappy about me not asking for a gift receipt before him billing the toys! However this did not end there. The next evening we were on our way back home from buying groceries. And RK out of the blue says 'RK kku Walmart lerenthu antha puzzle vaangi kudu amma'. (Buy that puzzle from Walmart for RK). We were stumped. Anyways DT said yes and joined in the chorus with him and my boys gave me a hard time. I am contemplating doing all the shopping by myself from now on. Who needs the boys to go shopping anyways :-)

Toddler Talk

2010-03-29T17:30:00.000-07:00

I'm is wake.
This is my's.
Amma no giving bubbles to 'another kid'.
DT says 'Amma is my girl'. RK responds 'No appa, amma is my girl'. I treasure this moment. Sigh...
RK innikku amma va miss pannitaan...this is what I was greeted with on coming back from work one evening :-) (RK missed his mommy today he said)
Amma unnodi malai romba pretty aa irrukku. This is what RK said to me one morning when he woke up. No I didnt prompt or bribe him with candy! The funny thing is it was a blouse with black beads along the neckline and not a necklace/chain. (Mommy, your necklace is pretty he said)
RK loves playing with his animals these days. Yesterday he lined them all up on the kitchen counter. I was cooking and didn't really say anything. DT came in and asked in a slightly strict voice 'RK, animals kitchen la enna pannarathu'? (What are the animals doing in the kitchen?). Pat came the reply followed by a smile 'Amma va parka varathu'. (They are here to see mommy). This little tyke has the charm of his father. Cause those who know me will attest for my utter lack of charm.

Dude, you amaze me.

2009-10-05T08:17:00.000-07:00

Yesterday when we were all having lunch (but of course!) you wanted to hear the song 'Masakali' from the movie Delhi 6. You are of the generation that thinks every cell phone can play music and have display pictures of you! So I got the song going and we all continued to eat a little faster. In a couple of minutes you got busy with trying to get the belt of your high chair. I figured you have no interest in the song anymore and stopped the play of the song. After a few seconds you said "What happened". I was stunned to hear that expression from you and then asked you "Ennathu what happened kanna?" (What happened to what sweetie?). And you said "What happened cell phone"?!!!! Huh? Whew...

Last week, Friday I think we were in what is designated as RK's room, playing. There is a bookshelf there with some soft toys one of which is the character 'Goofy'. DT won this at the arcade games in one of our travels. RK was always a little scared of this Goofy doll and would never touch it though he would willingly point it out. He again looked at me and said 'Goofy irruka' (There is goofy). I said 'Eduthutu vaa' (bring it to me). He actually said..."Bayama irrukku"! (I am afraid!). And I my dear am awed! You totally amaze me.

Sorry amma, Belated Happy B'day!

2009-09-29T10:00:00.000-07:00

My dearest amma I was in tears when I realized that I missed wishing you on your birthday, again. You called me on your birthday and I was busy and said I would call back. Not one line, nothing. As is you are the most patient person with no expectations or very few. Your resilience and patience is known by all. I go on about my daily chores in my almost perfect life getting all stressed about day to day things. Your life has been chaotic but never have I seen anyone so organized.You will never even utter a word if I don't wish you. Amma, I am so truly sorry.

This year is special. You are celebrating your sixtieth! I did remember even on the day before. I remembered enough to order a little special something for you. If all goes right you should have it end of this month/beginning of the next. But on that day I forgot. I went on with my daily tasks and did not stop to look at the calendar and see what date it was. Bad bad me...
The dad probably didn't remember and you have never made him guilty for it. The son cannot be expected to remember. But the daughter has no excuse. Especially now that she is a mom. She should know more about 'taking for granted'. I still take you for granted don't I. Hmm....sigh...in this circle of life things always come around. Do take heart in the fact that I did not forget that your special day was coming, but only forgot on that day.
Today, ten days later I wish you a very very happy b'day. I wish you happiness and joy but you really know how to get them from every chance that life offers you. I wish you pearls and rubies, but you swear that you don't have enough chances to wear even the ones you have got. I wish you love - mine and those of everyone around you. But you have all that and more.
For all that you have done and for all that you have given me,...thank you.
And birthday wishes from the heart.
You know I mean right though it might not sound right! I love you amma....

The cycle of Peek a Boo

2009-09-28T08:17:00.000-07:00

I started playing peek a boo with RK when he was around 3-4 months I think. I don't exactly remember. But it sure was about the time when the email from BabyCentre said 'Your child @ 4(or something) months....Try peek a boo with your infant" or something like that.
At first it got a smile. That was the best reward as any mom will attest.
Then it got to where I would say peek a boo (kaanum in Tamil actually) and he would say 'Adho!' (There...I see you) after a second or so.
The next stage was RK hiding behind the curtain or his hands and saying 'RK kaanum'. And this is the stage where RK would play this game a zillion times without getting bored. For those who have been there you know how it is.... :-)
After this peek a boo was used by me as a tool during diaper change/post bath lotion time etc. I would encourage RK to use a towel and play peek a boo since this kept him in place allowing me to put his lotion on, put his diaper on etc. At this stage RK and I also played hide and seek. I would run and hide and ask RK to find me. There were a few suspects in terms of hiding places and RK knew them. Nevertheless the moment I heard the helpless sounding 'amma' I would call out peek a boo giving away my location.
For the last couple of weeks RK would hide his face with his hands peer at me through them and play peek a boo. And even when he said 'I see you' his hands would be on his face sometimes; teasingly. Nevertheless this represented a stage when he knew how to play the game and played it all by himself with me a mere participant. This so contrasted with that initial stage when I played the game and he could only enjoy it!
Yesterday as we were driving to an uncle's house for navarathiri, RK looked at the moon from the window and said 'moon', which is great but not what matters to this post. He then moved his head to the left and said 'moon kaanum' (I cant see the moon) and then moved his head back to the right and said 'adho irrukku moon'. He did this a few times all by himself.
This to me is the cycle of peekaboo. He can now play the game by himself with anything he fancies. My dearest RK, play away with the moon and the stars in the sky. I am so so proud to see you playing this game all by yourself and figuring it out. My heart swells with pride my little one...

Traditions Torch bearers

2009-09-23T08:35:00.000-07:00

Definitely the woman of the house! Last weekend was Tamil New Year and Vishu both of which we celebrate. What made it even more special for me was knowing that it is my son's first on both counts. Also friends from across the globe had sent emails on how they celebrated these festive occasions. It was heartening to see that most of them made the effort to celebrate in an appropriate manner. Of course, circumstances are not the same for everyone and that is understandable.
When I was in India I have been lucky enough to always stay with close relatives. I have never missed the celebration of any festival. When I moved to the US and the day of Diwali came it was a shocker for me. Not as much the lack of public celebration or fanfare but my reaction to how the day went. Being the first Diwali after marriage we had new clothes sent by both sides of the family. Adorned in all that we got together with friends to celebrate. But we landed up going to a Chinese restaurant for dinner. It was a total anti climax for me. I did not realise how disappointed I was till friends pointed out that I looked dull! From that day on I have tried to emulate celebrations as I remember them for all occasions. I find a pleasure in keeping lamps decoratively arranged for 'karthikai deepam' and making 'pori oorundai'. I will compromise and celebrate over the closest weekend for some of them. But I still take the effort for days like Vishu which cannot technically in my mind be moved to a weekend. It becomes all the more important to keep these traditions alive when the next generation is born here in a foreign country. Childhood memories of Diwali sweets and Vishu collections are so vivid in my mind. I want my children to have that with them. Yes I might even start a Xmas tree and gift under the tree tradition in spirit of where we are. Nevertheless that can only be an add on.
Many in our generation have found their own partners. While this is great it takes more of an effort to keep alive family celebrations that exist on both sides. This often means learning the ways of a new family and adopting it best to your circumstance. And there is no question in my mind that the woman of the family is the only one who can do this. It is up to her to learn so she can pass on the torch to the next generation. This is the only way traditions will stay alive and have meaning even for children born outside of their home countries so they realize and develop an affinity for celebrating festivals the traditional way.
I started this post way back sometime last year. Never got around to completing it. The current Navarathiri season inspired me to complete this post. We were at a Navarathiri golu over the weekend and one of the women there who used to be a music teacher was singing. And RK who was playing (read hanging out) with the other kids came over and sat in my lap to hear her sing. That totally amazed me. And reinforced how important all this is. And I love that RK is in that stage where he will wear a kurta if that's what I choose for him.
There are different schools of thought on what this entails. I see some women, a little older than me maybe, are interested in chanting mantras and learning new shlokas. They also take pride in teaching their children the same. With me I am not the kinds who will attend chanting or shloka classes. At least not at this point in my life. I will explain the stories behind the various festivities, encourage RK to excited about it, make the appropriate foods and generally give RK that feeling of bonding to the tradition associated with it. That I believe is most important. On a crazy day like today where the last week has been stressful as has the week so far I forget about all this and am ready to crash when I get home. I guess since we do not have any festivities this year (RK's great grandma passed away) I am mentally taking a chill pill. But knowing me I will be as gung ho the next year. The feeling of responsibility will come and I will be all prepared. May this post hold me accountable starting with New Year/Vishu in April 2010 :-)
What do you do to keep the traditions alive? Leave a comment and let us know.

Women I encounter

2009-09-09T08:09:00.000-07:00

In most offices I have worked at the women's restroom/bathroom/loo whatever you want to call it has been located such that multiple offices/teams shared the restroom. One guilty pleasure is to speculate on the women I see there. Some I see regularly and know about. Here is a little peek into the workings of my devious mind.... (mu ha ha ha)

Ms. Desi - There was this lady who always took a water bottle with her to the loo. I would understand if she got it to clean/fill at the water fountain outside but she took it in with her. I can only speculate if she is not happy with the dry paper towel situation and is more conformable with the desi ishtyle, water and all.
Ms. Oranges - There is this one lady who peels the orange in the loo. I just don't get it. We have a full fledged kitchen on the floor and a cafeteria a few floors above both of which she has access to. But she will only peel it in the loo. Right on the counter and the peels go on a paper towel. The first time I got the citrus smell I though someone is washing/throwing a cup of Orange citrus tea (which is quite nice BTW) but turns out it is an orange itself! LOL.
Ms. Fishnet - This is a very pretty and sexy young woman who wears fishnet stockings in colors I haven't seen (read - other than black and red). She carries them off so well too. And what I like about her is that she is not at all your typical skinny blond, quite the opposite but she can look like a bomb any day of the week with those fishnet stockinged legs!
Ms. Clean Freak - She is this big woman who will use quarter of a roll of toilet paper and at least 10 paper towels to dry her hand after. The latter part about the paper towels I have seen multiple times. The first is mere speculation of course.
Ms. Ice Maiden - She is an immaculately dressed beautiful woman in her 50's. However she Never smiles or nods in acknowledgment. She has this stone cold look though her eyes look warm. Makes me wonder if it is the Botox that is preventing her from smiling :-D
Ms. Toothbrush - Granted dental health is important. However I do hope her dentist has advised her on how the enamel on her teeth are eroding. She has to brush after every meal/snack - at least 3 times between 9 and 5 or something like that. Amazes me...
Ms. Water waste - She will keep her soup/coffee cup/breakfast bowl in the sink and turn the faucet on. She will then proceed to do her business and get back. Till then the water is running. The bowl/cup overflows and water still keeps going. I have told her once in a nice way laughing through it saying oh what a lot of water. You might want to turn that off. I was greeted with a stare in return. At the cost of peace I have kept away.
Ms. Question - This is a lady who will find something to ask and retain you in the loo (for that matter wherever you are) It is annoying for me to talk shop in the bathroom @ work. If you have a question call/email/come over to my desk. Granted, your best thoughts might come when you are doing your business but hey...

Do you have any such stories? Leave a comment and let me know.

Sweet, Cute, Lol, Wonderful... moments

2009-09-08T11:49:00.000-07:00

Saturday morning you were in bed with us (but of course - RK scores are going way high in this arena) when you woke up and said 'Saturday' :-). Do you know it because both mom and dad are relaxed and in no hurry to get out of bed? What gives?
You are now able to say complete sentences. Earlier it used to be 'amma book' for me to read a book to you. Then it became 'amma book padikkum' (amma book reading) which is a complete sentence! You can always learn to dot your I's and cross your T's in school! :-D And now you say it like 'Amma inga ukkaachi book padikkum' (amma, sit here and read the book!) We are all amazed at you doing this at 18 months. My mom says I was a talker quite early too. Hee hee most who know me can agree. And DT can vouch for that too!
You kept saying what sounded like 'damake'. You are usually good about no baby talk and I know most times you mean something. I then figured it out. You were attempting to say 'Dam laga ke' (a hindi phrase used when trying to push/lift something heavy means use all your might). You had heard me say that to your dad when he was doing a chore around the house! :-)
You like the song 'Masakali' and demand to either dance when standing on my feet or that I carry you around and dance! Whew!
I loving call you a bunch of things like 'chella kutti, pattu kutti, thanga kutti' etc. When I ask you 'RK amma vooda?' you will say 'thanganga'. And I say 'amma loves RK' every night before bed. This evening you said 'RK loves amma' (coached by DT - who scores big for this BTW!)
The other day you asked your grandpa to lie down (taachi), stroked his chin and said 'pattu kutti'. He was bowled over.
You want your grandpa to sing 'Johnny Johnny' to the tune of what sounds like a classic raaga in Carnatic music.
Your grandma used to scare your dad into eating/sleeping with tales of 'Maago'. How this 'Maago' will come grab you if you don't etc. When she said that to you for the first time, you listened with rapt attention and then demanded 'Maago' stories only to laugh when she tells them!
You ask to watch 'Tom and Jerry' and are able to smile at the scenes that are funny in a slapstick way. I earlier thought it was because there was a laughter track somewhere that gave you a behaviour idea but no...even your grandpa doesn't laugh out loud or smile. How you comprehend them I have no idea.

Tantrums are here II

2009-09-04T12:00:00.000-07:00

It is a tad too cold to take RK to the park. So I take him for a walk around the block promising a glimpse of the neighborhood dog and cat. We couldn't see either nevertheless...RK got excited about walking on the grass. And there is only so much grass though little shrubs, mud, stones etc all qualify. At one point he sat down at the edge of a patch of grass and declared 'Amma RK grass'. I said you are on the grass. He then said 'RK grass walk'. I just could not convince him that is exactly what we were/are/will be doing. It was an LOL moment for me! I score a laugh!

One fine morning...
4:45 AM
RK: Amma...thooki (mom, pick me up)
Me: Ignore once
RK: Amma...thooookiii
Me:Ignore twice
RK: Ammmmmmaaaa..thookiiiiii
Me: I get up to pat him back to sleep and in the process find that his clothes are wet. Diaper gave in. So I have to now change his diaper and get a new bodysuit on. I bring him to the bed, lay a sheet and lay him down.
RK: Howls...amma..thoooki..
Me: RK, diaper change, dress change then taachi (sleep)
RK is not convinced. He howls all the while with me trying to lift him a little, soothe him a little and get his changing going. DT reaches out to RK lovingly and tries to soothe him. RK gets mad and swats his hand away. Then he says..
RK: Amma, pillow
Thats when I realize RK wants to make sure he is sleeping on the bed post all this changing! Grrrr...and hee hee. Things quieten down. RK gets to sleep on the bed. RK scores one?!

3:00 PM - Saturday afternoon
DT is heating up milk for RK. I am carrying him around cause he will howl if I put him down. RK is sleepy and that means fussy! DT attempts to pour milk in the sipper.
RK (howls): Antha sippy paal (That sippy milk)
DT: Which sippy?
RK (points to one he wants)
DT proceeds to wash that sipper with RK howling all through demanding milk in that sipper only. Of course the sipper is not ready for him. And in the end RK gets his milk in 'antha' (that) sippy too! RK scores one more!

For moments like this...

2009-08-31T11:28:00.000-07:00

I am glad I did not have to wait a lifetime. Recording those that I remember while I remember them.

The way you put your arm around my neck when you know I might have to leave the bed and your side for a day's work.
The way you kiss me of your own freewill and on both cheeks too. Sloppy wet kisses that are the best.
The way you look for me as soon as you wake up in the morning with an announcement of 'amma'.
The way you say 'bye' to me when asked to and then immediately demand 'thooki' with a naughty glean. You know I have to leave and sometimes say gibberish (which is rare for you) to keep me talking. It is an "Awww" moment for me every time.
When you are content sitting on my lap reading a book with me.
How you want to snuggle close to me when drinking your milk.
When you say 'Itsy Bitsy' knowing I will sing it and tickle you silly.
You and me sitting on the porch swing listening to the birds settling down at dusk. It never ceases to amaze me how you can sit perfectly still for about a min or so when I point out a bird sound.
The three of us horsing around on the bed on a Sunday morning when we know we have no place better to be.

Sippy Love en route?

2009-08-31T08:27:00.000-07:00

Thu AM:
RK had some of his milk in the sipper.
Thu noon:
Had some of his milk in the sipper.
Thu night:
Had his milk in the sipper. Does he know by now mom means business and won't let him go till he has some milk? Hmm...

Fri AM:
Had some more of his milk in the sipper.
Fri noon:
He had a little bit in the sipper...still fighting it?
Fri night:
Had the milk in the sipper. Pretty tired after an evening running around at the park.

Sat AM:
Had milk. Not too much fuss.
Sat noon:
More like Sat evening. It was a very hot day and he enjoyed the milk slightly cool.
Sat night:
Had his milk. I had to hold the cup and he enjoyed letting it go a moment after I let it go. Loves teasing mom...

Sun AM:
He had his milk from the sippy. However he declared 'Kaaka thookittu poachu' (The crow took it away) referring to the now missing from a week bottle. His way of bidding goodbye bottle finally?
Sun noon:
More like Sunday evening due to the weekend schedules being all over the place. He had milk in the sippy but we are not at the stage where he will drink on his own like with the bottle. So while I miss the freedom of being able to hand him his milk and get few mins to do something I enjoy holding the sippy and cuddling with him :-)
Sun Night:
Had the milk. I read the book to him and tried to constantly encourage him to hold the sippy by himself. That is not done yet. But we are getting there I dare say! Soon he will not want me to hold the sippy. One more thing he can do by himself.

It has been a week since the bottle has been retired. Can I hope the struggle is at its end and that RK will drink milk in his sipper? My biggest worry at this point is that so far he has only had his milk in the sipper (almost completely that is) when I give it to him. I am hoping that is no longer the case. There are more struggles I know. I also know that he needs to learn to sit and drink his milk holding it on his own. The next stage would be to try and use a glass and a straw if needed. But for now, I am secretly happy that he wants me to hold his sipper and snuggle close to me when he has his milk. I savor those moments especially since he is growing up so quickly.

Bye bye bottle... but no welcome sippy yet

2009-08-26T07:55:00.000-07:00

We have contributed to the sippy cup market @ rate of one per quarter if you consider that he has had/has 5 sipper cups and is not yet 18 months old! We have the ones with straws, ones that are like a bottle, ones that have cars and SpongeBob and Patrick. Only SpongeBob and Patrick have disappeared with regular cleaning. Pat on the back to DT and me! ;-)
We figured its high time RK started milk in a sipper. Why? Because at the 18 month checkup we will need to fill out a form that asks if he has switched and what we are doing for it, because his daycare caregiver suggested that it is time, because all(OK, most) of our friends kids are off the bottle! Is that enough pressure or what?
Here is how it went or it is going I should say:

Saturday AM:
DT and I sang, danced, cajoled, threatened, bribed, pleaded, shouted, time out etc etc in a 30 min session where half of normal morning milk volume was consumed. The rest was mixed with cereal and I even conceded to letting him ride his car around the yard while he had breakfast!
Saturday noon:
Post lunch we had to drive to see a dear friend's new born, in the movement of the car and with sleep coming on RK had half of his usual afternoon milk amount.
(So far ok since I gave cheese to compensate)
Saturday night:
RK flatly refused to have any milk and went to bed tired, angry and cranky.
Saturday nearing midnight (right when the last 'Mad Men' episode was over and we were ready to hit the bed!) he got up demanding 'paaaaal' (milk). DT was asked to go down, warm the milk and bring it up in the sipper of course while I tried to console and prep him at which he howled some more. His grandma came knocking by this time demanding why we were troubling her grandson so! After all this drama RK refused to have milk again and went to bed in our bed. Battle won for RK. Rough night with kicks for DT and me!

Sunday AM:
I told RK 'Bottle kaaka eduthutu poachhu'. (The crow took the bottle away. I know...)
Since he was probably famished three fourths of the milk was consumed. 2 sippers , one with a straw and one with a spout and a glass and straw were put in action to achieve this end.
Sunday noon:
Sleep overcame RK who consumed half of the milk and took a nap.
Sunday night:
He refused to have milk downstairs. The sipper was taken up to bed and all toys were bade good night. Then I prepped RK for milk with a book. I refused to read until he had some milk. After some tug of war about half of the milk was consumed. Whew!

Monday AM:
I am ready to leave to work when RK gets up! He has about two thirds of the milk. I stay back and leave late. Priorities. I have no regrets whatsoever.
Monday noon:
No milk is consumed. RK fights the sipper like no one's business. This is one persistent child.
Monday night:
Most of the milk is consumed after some protests, threats etc. I keep insisting I will read the book only if he drinks milk. He keeps pushing the sipper away. I alternate between getting frustrated and working on distracting him.

Tue AM:
Almost none in the sipper. His grandma gives him bread dipped or rather as drenched in milk as she dare. That way milk gets consumed.
Tue noon:
None again. It is as though RK doesn't want milk in the noon if its not in a bottle to suck! More proof that he uses the bottle as a comfort.
Tue night:
RK is pretty tired after swimming class I think. After what is no considered a mild protest in hindsight, he drinks all the milk in the sipper. Turns out, it was a one time thing. Lest I get my hopes up!

Wed AM:
RK is given milk with raagi (cereal). In that way milk gets consumed. He also has a little cheese with tomato which he is currently favoring. And these are tomatoes from a very kind neighbour aunty's backyard which in addition to being organic are so juicy, red and tasty. But I digress.
Wed noon:
Again, none. Grrr... So I suggest he have a afternoon snack of a cup of yogurt which he eats. Thank god the kid likes milk in other forms too.
Wed night:
We start the process in the family room. I hold him in place in the crook of my arm sort of hugging but more like pinning him in place!I offer him the sipper. He refuses. Moves his mouth away. I persist. He says 'Get down'. I say after you have milk you can get down. A little goes in. We repeat this sequence about 20 times for a third of the milk to go in. I am exhausted. It was a time that I exercised GREAT self control. It was so so difficult not to scream@ him or give him a little spank. Oh c'mon...we all feel that way. Then we took the rest of the milk up. He had it in bed with a book. Again after me refusing to read if he did not drink. It was a good 20 mins for the next half to go down. Well, most of it.

My first Ribbon

2009-08-19T07:55:00.001-07:00

RK's that is. First, thanks to dancer mom who did all the research and got RK's friend 'Mountain Boy' (MB from now on) enrolled in swimming. I followed suit thanks to her follow up! Second, this post is only about RK and is an attempt to capture for him the story of his first ribbon and I do not mean to be insensitive to the other kids in class. Every child is different and I mean that!
Every week one evening RK and me go to swimming class. The one swimming class that me and dancer mom could not make it the fathers went and boy was it hilarious! But that is a different post. (Reminder to self - record that before you forget!)RK has always loved swimming (swimmie, as he calls it) class. He has been good about following the instructions, holding on to me/wall when asked etc. Yes he does howl if the pool toys are taken away from him. He is learning to float as well. Started with him resting his head on my shoulder and floating (with me holding on) to now floating with me holding him away from me. Through all this floating I have to constantly engage him with stories of lets go see Nemo, lets go see rainbow fish etc. That works since the pool has all those fishes hanging from the ceiling. From the last 2 classes he has been comfortable going under the water for a couple of seconds. With shouts of 'Ready Down' he can go under and then I bring him up on his side and into a back float. He loves the game of jumping off the wall to 'Humpty Dumpty had a great fall'. He likes kicking to the 'Motorboat motorboat' chant.
Also kudos to the instructors there. We have Mike and Mike both of whom have been amazing with the kids. They know when to indulge them, push them, be a disciplinarian etc. And the staff is friendly and warm. The pool and the facilities are clean. I must that that is a very important factor. And I can say that cause RK has not (ward off evil eye, touch wood) fallen any more sick than other times after he started swimming. So folks in the east bay area, American Swim Academy @ Newark is a good try. Bottom line it forces me to spend 30 quality mins with RK helping him learn with no distractions of housework etc. And that I realize is so important in our crazy busy lives today!

Of merry and solemn weddings

2009-08-12T07:57:00.000-07:00

A neighbour is getting married. A couple where both are south indian. And to anyone who has been to (most) south indian (SI as my dear pal PP calls it) weddings you know there is a lot of chanting, rituals, long hours convincing the fire god that you can handle a marriage (so to speak!). Purists, please dont judge me, just thinking out loud here in this anon world. Many north indian weddings (yes I am being very generic) have mehendi, baaraath, sangeeth etc etc. All fun stuff.
What got me wondering about all this is that this couple decided to include all the fun stuff in their wedding ceremonies. That is so cool. It also got me wondering how as a people south indians came to have weddings that are solemn, ritualistic affairs. I would understand if this were the case for south indian brahmin weddings alone since traditionally brahmins are known to practice chanting, prayer, rituals in daily life etc. But that is not the case. Why or how did a ceremony like marriage become a serious affair? Well, it is serious business I agree. But the only 'fun' in a cousin's wedding was all of us singing 'Gajara Re' albeit after asking permission from the head priest. And since this was in Mumbai and it was a SI getting married to a north indian it is probably a different story. All other SI weddings I have been to in the south have been routine affairs made interesting only by the sarees, jewellery, gossip etc...(including mine yes).
Kerala weddings (on the basis of the 3 I have been to) are simple and short. That is in keeping with the kind of culture there. The people are generally well managed. Everyone is seated and the ceremony takes place and then everyone proceeds to wish the couple and have their lunch. In fact at a friend's wedding where a bunch of us had gone (guys and gals) a funny incident took place. The guys expecting it would be long drawn ceremony out went sightseeing for a couple of hours and by the time they got back the wedding was over! Ha ha... and to think we had all gone miles to be there for it :-) (That wedding story is another post)
There is the 'nelengu' that is the 'fun' element to SI weddings. Granted, these days it is optional and some couples/families choose not to have it. Personally I think the reason for that is at the end of all the wedding ceremonies (2 days), most couples would rather rest than take the effort to participate in this and I cannot blame them. This 'ceremony' has a certain set of games that the bride and groom play which are meant to bring a level of casualness to the whole solemn affair.
But hey, do leave a note on how much of 'fun' your wedding was!

Tantrums are here I

2009-08-10T08:32:00.000-07:00

And they are here. Hands flailing, legs kicking, its tantrum time. They come in various forms too. Captured are some of golden moments...I am sure the platinum are awaiting the right day and time (muhurat)

3 AM: RK in crib, DT and me in bed right next to the crib
RK: Amma...(wails)...Thooki (pick me up)
Me: Taachi pannu..allarumay taachi (Go back to bed, everyone is asleep)
RK: Amma, thooki...crib taachi no no..RK bed taachi
So of course it being a Saturday night when DT and me stayed up with LOST (ahem, the series) and me being too bleary eyed to protest he got to come to the bed. RK scores one!

8:15 AM: We are trying to get RK to have his milk in a sipper and leave the prized bottled. Ooh,..what terrible parents we are!
RK: Paal (milk)
Me: RK, ethula paal kudikanum? (What must RK drink his milk in?)
RK: Silent,..looking at me. Sad puppy eyes already starting to take shape.
Me: RK sipper la paal kudikanum. I go on to name his friends that have moved on from the bottle (whether or not they have!)
RK is put in his chair. He refuses to open his mouth for the sipper spout. He is constantly talking, repeating etc. but nothing goes in. I insist. Hand flail...legs kick. His forehead creases. He develops a sniggering cry (if you know what I mean!). He pushes the sipper bottle away, his hands clear anything in their way. God forbid we make the mistake of keeping anything close by that can tear, break, fall etc. I give up. Tantrum successful. RK scores one!

More to come...

Mommy Manicure

2009-07-28T07:30:00.000-07:00

Inspired by an acquaintance whose nails I had admired over a couple of social gatherings, I got some advice from her and decided to try an @ home french manicure. A couple of google searches later I knew what I wanted. A french manicure tip pen and some clear polish. On the trip to Walgreen's I decided to pick up some embellishments to the nail as well. Nail art!
Last Friday evening I started to 'activate' the pen first. I tried it out on my left hand rather quickly in the few mins RK was playing with DT. Then DT sensing I was unusually quiet (read staying out of their way) came over to comment 'Oh, girlie stuff!' RK followed. So a temporary stop ensued. However I had made up my mind and was looking forward to my experiments.
Post RK slumber I convinced DT who likes to watch 'Lost' without lights (for good reason) to have the dining light on and started on my painting. A couple of tries later, there I had it. A manicured, ahem french style left hand with nail art. DT rightly commented that it looks like a little girls hand. That's the look when there are no long nails to begin with. But hey I had painted nails! Though any woman upon a second look or some upon the first will see what an amateur job this was. Now come to the right hand, I had the tips done but the painting not yet. I am nowhere close to ambidextrous! :-D
DT so very sweetly came to the rescue and painted them for me. Oh....Aw....ya, he is sweet! (heart)
That night I went to bed feeling all elegant, proud etc. A working mommy that had a manicure which didn't cost her a fortune (35$ is a fortune for me for a manicure!)

Come next morning, DT was around when I had to wash the rice so that hurdle passed. Then came the numerous tasks like washing the peach RK wanted, washing his hand since he played with the dirty water on the deck. That was the day RK decided to pee in the seconds before his fresh diaper was being put on. So I had to wipe that away. For all this I was very careful. I cut veggies without getting my nails wet. I moved the veggies around the colander with a spoon to wash them in place of using my hands! Yes it took me more time to cook like that but all remained in place. Then come time to give RK his lunch, I noticed the nail on my right middle finger (pointedly) was sans nail art, blotchy clear polish and bits of white tip. By the time I was done with washing his hands after lunch, 3 nails had the same fate. I was hoping all that nail art and glitter had not gone into his food! Come a trip to the beach later by night the left hand wasn't looking all that elegant either! By Sunday evening I had my uneven, plain Jane nails back. And that is the end of mommy manicure!

Long Straight Hair - Glamorous?

2008-12-12T15:03:00.000-08:00

I caught myself unaware yesterday. I was at my uncle's house and my eldest niece S1 was around. She has jet black, thick wavy hair. And it is shoulder length. Last evening I noticed she had straightened it. I immediately said "You straightened your hair. It looks nice". Little did I realize...

On the long drive back home I got to thinking how I have fallen into the trap of long straight hair being left open as the standard for glamorous hair! My hair has grown almost till my waist now and I feel it looks better straightened. So that's what I have been doing every Sunday for the last couple of weeks. I do not like that I have fallen into this trap and not only that I am passing on the wrong message to a young impressionable girl that hair looks good straightened. That is so so wrong! Will I build up the courage to come to work with wavy hair that looks unmade? I do not know. But I do know that with my maturity if I can fall into the trap how easy it will be for a young teenager like that? The thought is scary...Here I am at 30 with so much more potential to 'grow up'! :-)

I'm in love and always will be...

2008-09-11T22:56:00.000-07:00

The months have flown by!
Your eyebrows - a couple of days after you were born and we got you home, I could count the number of hairs in them. Now they have formed so well.
Your ears - the day you were born they were flat towards the outside - in a few days (by a week for sure) they were well rounded and curved.
Your eyes - they opened a little more than a slit when you were born and now they give meaning to the expression - 'smiling with his eyes'. They light up when you smile. And that my baby lights up my life.
Your fingers - so so tiny were they! They still are, but a lot more sturdy. They can now pull my hair right out if its roots. They can grab grandma's glasses, grip cables,hold toys, clap. Your fists were closed so tight when you were born, now they open up and clap on their own. I noticed the fine little hair (I counted 5 follicles) on your ring finger. Now i can see the fine hair on your forearm. You will grow up to be a hairy guy!
Your legs and toes tiny and pink - they kick so strongly now.
Your back is sinewy and strong - your body turns with such vigour and at all angles.
Your voice - shrill and strong - you can now scream loud enough for the street to hear. And the sounds are so many.
From my milk to solids you have graduated - I am no longer your sole meal ticket.
You outgrew your hand me down bodysuits though your teeny little body can still wear shorts meant for 3-6 month olds!
From swimming on the floor, you are now in swimming class. You even got a sticker for being able to float on your back and kick.
I love how there are times when I can soothe you and sing you to sleep.
How I know when you are troubled and when you are sleepy.
I love the mornings when you wake me up by cooing and saying good morning as 'aaaaaannn'.
I love playing with you on the floor rolling generally goofing around.
I love making you laugh silly.
I love everything about you. You are my love, my valentine!

PS - Dearest DT, you more than anyone know how this is on a totally different plane. But again, you are the love of my life!

Of Poo Poo diapers and pee pee diapers!

2008-08-18T08:57:00.000-07:00

A few years back I used to hang out with a couple of women from our apartment complex. I overheard one asking the other "Was it a poo poo diaper?" It was the first time I had heard the term and it made me very amused. Today I can talk like that and not bat an eyelid even!

"Today was a good day. He went poo poo da!" so declared a close friend who has very recently become a dad. And I can totally relate to that. Most days when I leave for work at the crack of dawn (sounds dramatic right though dawn is 7 AM for me ;-)) RK is asleep. And when I make the first call home from work one of my standard questions to his grandma is "Nalla vishayam irrukkaa?" (Is there good news today?) And if the answer is no we go on to discuss how many days it has been and if RK should be given gripe water that day. Then we debate on his ability to poo with his dependency on gripe water.

At his 4 month checkup we asked the doc very concerned that RK does not seem to go potty every day and there sometimes is a gap of 4 days. His response - 'not to worry. Breastfed babies do not typically go poo poo every day'. But when they do after a gap it is usually a case of 'messy poo'!! If its been more than 6 days we were asked to send the doc an email. What good that will do I havent got a chance to try yet. Also for the very first few days after they are born breastfed babies pass more stools than babies who are not breastfed. This trend reverses apparently in the next months.

In the initial days after RK was born we would meticulously record every poo/pee. My mom was way too amused with this but seeing how serious we were she took it upon herself to remind us to mark every occasion of poo/pee. I remember her telling my dad about this on the phone and my dad was hysterical. He said "We didn't do all this with her (me) but tell her she turned out just fine!". Yeah, now I see that it was a way to keep us occupied and assure us that all was okay with the baby!

So yeah, those messy poo poo diapers are worth their weight in gold!

A big boy!

2008-08-14T14:05:00.000-07:00

RK has grown! And so soon already! When I hold him to nurse, he no longer fits snugly in the space between my arms. His legs extend beyond my body and reach the bed even. His hands ...oh don't get me started! His nails they grow at such a rapid pace. Too much calcium in his diet I'm convinced ;-) And he has started grabbing/scratching any surface that his hands come across - the back of the chair, my arm, my shoulder, my nose, my mouth are all perennial targets! At this stage (5 months already, yeah!) he is exploring the textures of all these surfaces and it is very exciting to him. That is the same reason he gets distracted while nursing. Any sound that is a tad too loud is enough to get him to turn his head in the direction of the sound with a look on his face that I call - "Why, what, who, hmm?" Curious little bundle him! DT is just about banned from making any sound when he comes into the room if I am nursing Roshan.

RK laughs now...it started with a gurgle and now he laughs out loud, chuckles as DT calls it! Things that get him to laugh include --

Rubbing his belly with our nose/lips
Pretending to grab his face with my palms (works great for the car!)
Blowing air on the back of his neck
Playing peekaboo
His grandparents telling him to say 'amma, appa, tatha, paati etc' with emphasis

Hmm... however much I love to see him grow, one part of me feels it is too fast. I want to enjoy every minute of it and yet every minute is new. I feel proud seeing him learn new skills and be able to do new things. Part of that pride definitely comes from knowing that I am providing for him and this is my doing; his 'meal ticket' :-)

He can also lift his neck very well and turn so he is on his tummy. He now effortlessly turns back to be on his back as well! He is a delight when he does this. I also think he is a cautious guy. Twice he turned on to his back on the hardwood floor downstairs and hit his head. From that time he will do it effortlessly on the bed or a blanket but not when he is on a mat on the floor. It amazes me that he has learnt to gauge where he is before trying out his skills.
Another new trick (about 3 weeks old now) is to grab his big toe and suck on that. What strong abs he must have to do that huh!? Its funniest when he tries to do this sitting in his car seat.
He also reacts so strongly to light or more like the absence of it. When we are driving and we pass under an over bridge (typically on the freeway) his eyes open so wide as though compensating for the lack of light. He is so funny! I wonder if he will pick up my poor eyesight and bad teeth. Hmm....he definitely has my hair - not very dark but fine and soft.

Those are my musings about my 5 month old RK. More to come...

Of oil baths and sunny days

2008-08-13T22:29:00.000-07:00

I have no memories of being given an oil bath. That's probably because I feigned independence and didn't want my hair oiled from very early on! In fact, I'm sure that's why! And my mother is too sweet to force such things on me.

However with RK it is a weekly event if not biweekly. I wait for the weekend so me and RK can have our oil bath ritual. We typically wait for the sun to be sunny, and the deck to get warm. Then the oil needs to be warmed up. Well, though this is sunny California, most days the coconut oil in its signature blue bottle needs to be microwaved so it can be poured. Then the bath tub is set. The hooded towel (those are so so cute!) is spread on the changing table and another towel ready by the tub. Then RK gets butt naked! I sit on the deck legs straight out in front of me; the green premier sheet (as it it known in my maternal home) covering my legs. Then RK is placed on the green sheet. Oil on my palms and then on to his baby soft skin! Oh how I love exploring the curves on those sweet thighs. I love to rub the oil on those tiny pink feet. The oil glides on that sinewy back and over those strong shoulders full of character. Then some more to massage and shape the head. That is about the only time that hair stays put. I love exploring behind those tiny little ears; so perfectly shaped. I love rubbing that little belly that moves so sweetly when you sleep. I feel lucky to be able to have a deck to sit on and the sun warming us. The rose plants and apple tree in view, it is our very own world, you and me. You will not remember this I know but these oil baths have given me so many memories to cherish. I sometimes feel I know every nook of your tiny perfect body. And the love I feel for you overwhelms me. My baby you will always be.

0-3 months flew by!

2008-07-14T11:35:00.000-07:00

And before I knew it, RK is...

Holding his feet with his hands
Putting his feet up (90 degree angle) and turning to one side
Bestowing smiles on all at home
Quietens down when I sing his fav song. (I think this deserves a separate post!)
Scratching his head
Holding on to objects
Recognises Roopa - his blue elephant toy
Cries when Roopa is taken away from his sight while he is playing with her
Smiles and coos for being lifted
Turns to follow the sounds
Plucks the petals from the roses in our backyard
Plays with the wind chime in the backyard
Grown out of his 0-3 months clothes
Grown out of his fist pair of boots. ( I got one when I was past 20!)

Globalization or back to basics?

2008-07-09T11:56:00.001-07:00

This is prompted by emails flowing with my girlfriends. The hot topic being what to pack in the kids lunch boxes. It surprised me (albeit pleasantly) to hear that schools in India also are insisting on healthy snacks and lunch boxes. Same solutions across the globe for a problem that is global and growing!
No more chips or cupcakes allowed. I thought it was only in the US that parents had to bring healthy snacks to games etc. Here there is a concept where it is the turn of one set of parents every week to bring snacks to the field at the end of the game their kid is participating in. And nowadays schools are particular that the snacks be low in sugar, high in fibre, low in sodium, high in protein etc. Besides which there are other restrictions like one cannot take anything with nuts in them since some kids are allergic to nuts. If there are kids allergic to gluten or dairy that is ruled out as well. Makes me think that we are going back to basics in more ways than one. Without the introduction of processed foods there would be no need for these regulations. Don't get me wrong. I think processed foods that make life easy are great. I use them myself. But all this concern about kids becoming obese and growing up with bad food habits comes because we have moved away from some basic practices. That of cooking fresh food!
Here are a couple of ways we at home are going back to basics -
1. Taking reusable bags to buy and bag our groceries. That way we avoid collecting plastic bags. (At least till I run out of them and considering the amount of diapers I am buying that seems like a possibility!)
2. Composting kitchen waste in our backyard. Manure - cheap and free!
(Again I am waiting to see if this will work in winter as well!)

Judgement Day

2008-06-12T21:33:00.000-07:00

The other day I could not help but wonder "How long before RK will judge me?!" We instinctively judge all those around us. I am curious as to how we develop this trait. On the rare occasions when I am a witness to this and able to be discerning, I realize it is easy to pass judgement. It is so much more tougher to accept people for what they are. Also there is something to be said of a person who has a position in your life. I will accept an elderly person for their position in my family and not judge them. While I might question them gently or maybe even ignore some things they say I find I do not pass judgment on them. It surprised me when I discovered this is not the case with everyone. My naivety maybe?

Where does one draw the line between accepting people as they are and making a suggestion to them to improve their quality of life? When does this helpful/caring attitude become callous and insensitive? Is it partly born out of a feeling of superiority of self? How do we get there? Is it ironic that we do not even think of passing judgment to the face of someone we know will shoot back a sharp repartee. But we are free with telling off those that are more meek and merely seek to defend themselves?
Will I be judged by my children? Right away I can see that I will be on one level. This is where I am considered the "good" mom or the "bad" mom depending on their social skills, behavior, performance, appearance etc etc. But on a deeper level when some one says "You are so very different from your child" and then proceeds to tell them how this child is in a sense better than them, is that fair? How much guilt should the child feel? Should I feel guilty for using my support system (read parents and their social interactions) as fodder for becoming what I am? In a sense bettering myself?For learning from their mistakes. For learning what not to do? isn't that what all kids do? Use their parents as crutches and then learn to stand and even run on their own two feet?

At the bottom of all this is the thought "Am I guilty of building this nice, cosy life for myself away from some of my responsibilities?" My parents have always shielded me from the hardships of their day to day lives. And I have taken that cue and built this life for myself that is truly ideal in so many ways. Is that not a good thing or the right thing? I am not sure there is a straight answer here.

Baby's day out!

2008-05-06T10:24:00.000-07:00

And my baby had his first trip to the mall. It is only fair that we take him to the mall for his first real outing, him being a US citizen and all. BTW, I have decided that he will be a democrat and when I asked he voted for Obama over Clinton. I wonder if that is because he is a guy and at this age they tend to be gender biased!

So, RK was fed, changed (into one of his three blue suits!), strapped into the car seat and carted off. I was sure we had everything we needed. Diaper bag fully packed, outfitted with spare clothes, diapers, wipes, washcloth, burp cloth, butt wipes;u name it! We had water and sandwiches. (Hee hee....typically desi phamily outing eh??). We had even taken jackets knowing it would be chilly by the time we got back. And finally we left home! Hubby tried to run the first red light but I stopped him. So no excitement there. A few exits down I remembered"But we didn't take the stroller!". And back we went. But I must say RK rose to the occasion sleeping through all the stops, the noise and the heat. And once again we set off. Ironic though the first place we took him to was 'Walmart'. Aakhir RK has to be an ABCD na??!! Like my mom rightly commented "There are so few 'velaikaara' (white people) at this place". To top that I fed him right outside Walmart in the parking lot. Other than the fact that I had to twist at odd angles to drape the coverall, hold him and still fit in the little gap between the car seat and the door it was okay I guess. He fed well and pretended this was no different. Atta boy RK! We bought him his first pair of shoes too. Totally indulgent buy, but hubby couldn't resist.
Then we took him to the mall. He was a happy camper looking at everything and absorbing all the sights and sounds. And a stop at the mall is never quick with me. End result it was time for his next feed as we were heading back. This time RK had it! Wailing in the back seat inconsolably. And out came the weapon Never before used - the pacifier. I was sitting in the front seat tears streaming down my cheeks feeling guilty as hell! My mom was feeling v bad and was saying things like "Poor guy", "he's swallowing his own spit" etc etc. That made it worse. I didn't even feel so bad when I gave him a nosebleed. And that has been my guiltiest moment as a mom to date. From what my mom says many more are to follow. She told me once "As a mother you are forever feeling guilty" !
So all the mom;s out there, take heart. Enjoy the moments and know that it is okay. Guilt comes from the womb! Don't take it to heart.

The early spring of 2008

2008-04-12T23:46:00.001-07:00

The day was here. The doctors had given you enough time or so they thought. They were ready to force you out. I relished the kicks and movements with the knowledge that I would miss them. I willed and waited for you to make the first move. Alas that was not to be.
En route to the hospital I swear I could see the first shoots of spring on the trees that line the center divider of the streets. Trees that were bare and brown had the faintest sign of green all across. Some a little more obvious than others. Some shy of their blossoming youth and changing image. I wondered if you were the shy kind as well. I always wanted you to decide when you were ready to take on this world. Now that I know you a little better (or do I) I think you were just content. You were living in the moment. You liked where you were and wanted to savour it a tad more. I think you like to enjoy the finer things in life; a little like your father. You do not have the 'hurricane' gene in you. You might be the kinds who needs a little push. Nevertheless, once you had that initial push and the stars all lined up, you excelled. You and me together we made it happen.
The fact that you had a bunch of hair on your head was a shocker I will admit! Going by the old wives tale about hair and heartburn I had pretty much decided that you would be born bald. My mom's stories of me and my brother being born bald added to the myth. Bah! How could I think you would take after me? Everyone and I mean everyone even on my side of the family agrees that you look so much like your father. I don't say that with any bitterness mind you. I think your father is a good looking man so you got lucky there! ;-) In fact within a couple of hours of your birth I was the first to tell your dad that. I said "I think he looks like you"! The pride on his face and in his voice is a Kodak moment (albeit with audio) in my head as he responded with "Yeah?" It amazes me; the power you have to bring forth something that strong and primal.

On the way back home with you I noticed the trees again. They seemed to be just a little more green. Like they were welcoming you into this world. One more spring baby. Officially spring started the weekend after you were born. But to me, the spring of 2008 will always be on the day I noticed the little green leaves trying to make their way into this world. The day I knew that you would come into our lives and change it forever. And even then I knew, that once you were here it would be as though life was always this way.

And I never thought I would...

2008-04-10T16:30:00.000-07:00

- Talk about my labor to any mom or to be mom who shows the slightest interest
- Talk about my son to all who ask about him. Yes, they expect me to talk about him when they ask but I am pretty sure I talk much more than they expect
- Not call my girlfriends for extended periods of time. Me who advises every girl that gets married how important it is that she keep in touch with her girlfriends, blah blah...and here I am - preaching only and not practicing.
- Feel that I know what and how best to care for my son. Needless to say on numerous occasions when I have been out my mom has fed, burped, changed and rocked him to sleep even. But when I am home, I know best and I dole out advice freely. (tongue in cheek!)
- Sing songs personalized to the moment and my son.
- Invent 'cute' versions of words that do not exist in any dictionary. Warning to my better half that I might argue for the use of these words in a future scrabble game. One that I particularly love is 'Wakey!'.
- Apply baby terms to my actions. E.g.- "I need to go pee pee". (I know! I think so too!!!)

Mommy Essentials

2008-04-01T17:09:00.000-07:00

En route to my follow up appointment with my gynec, I could not help wondering what one would do without a breast pump. I love the confidence of having a bottle or two ready for my baby when I have to step out. Though I haven't started work yet, it gives me the peace of mind for such occasions.

Another one is the boppy pillow. My shoulders and arms are so thankful to this U shaped pillow that can pretty much hold a new born. Of course, I wonder how long I will be able to use this before my tall lil fella outgrows it. But nevertheless, I love the boppy pillow. BTW, there is a newer version of it out there called (I kid you not!) 'My Brest Friend'.

The wipe warmer - ooh...I wish there was an adult version of this (that doesn't sound right!) that I could use for warming toilet paper. Wouldn't that be a boon???

Travel Diaper Dispenser - This one was a baby shower gift and I love it! It is a little ducky with a set of tiny disposable scented bags attached to its bottom. The bags peel off very much like the bag roll at a grocery store (tear at the perforation kinds!). This contraption is about the size of my hand and is perfect to carry around in the diaper bag. Each scented bag stores one diaper and can be used to dispose it off easily wherever we are. How cool is that!

A parallel train of thought that runs through my head is I cannot imagine how mommies have survived centuries without the above. Well, that's a little exaggerated one might add but think about it. I accept most of these as being needed and essential. My mom would smirk at me if she was the smirking kind. She sweetly says she doesn't even remember how those days went by.