The other day I could not help but wonder "How long before RK will judge me?!" We instinctively judge all those around us. I am curious as to how we develop this trait. On the rare occasions when I am a witness to this and able to be discerning, I realize it is easy to pass judgement. It is so much more tougher to accept people for what they are. Also there is something to be said of a person who has a position in your life. I will accept an elderly person for their position in my family and not judge them. While I might question them gently or maybe even ignore some things they say I find I do not pass judgment on them. It surprised me when I discovered this is not the case with everyone. My naivety maybe?
Where does one draw the line between accepting people as they are and making a suggestion to them to improve their quality of life? When does this helpful/caring attitude become callous and insensitive? Is it partly born out of a feeling of superiority of self? How do we get there? Is it ironic that we do not even think of passing judgment to the face of someone we know will shoot back a sharp repartee. But we are free with telling off those that are more meek and merely seek to defend themselves?
Will I be judged by my children? Right away I can see that I will be on one level. This is where I am considered the "good" mom or the "bad" mom depending on their social skills, behavior, performance, appearance etc etc. But on a deeper level when some one says "You are so very different from your child" and then proceeds to tell them how this child is in a sense better than them, is that fair? How much guilt should the child feel? Should I feel guilty for using my support system (read parents and their social interactions) as fodder for becoming what I am? In a sense bettering myself?For learning from their mistakes. For learning what not to do? isn't that what all kids do? Use their parents as crutches and then learn to stand and even run on their own two feet?
At the bottom of all this is the thought "Am I guilty of building this nice, cosy life for myself away from some of my responsibilities?" My parents have always shielded me from the hardships of their day to day lives. And I have taken that cue and built this life for myself that is truly ideal in so many ways. Is that not a good thing or the right thing? I am not sure there is a straight answer here.
