Sorry amma, Belated Happy B'day!

My dearest amma I was in tears when I realized that I missed wishing you on your birthday, again. You called me on your birthday and I was busy and said I would call back. Not one line, nothing. As is you are the most patient person with no expectations or very few. Your resilience and patience is known by all. I go on about my daily chores in my almost perfect life getting all stressed about day to day things. Your life has been chaotic but never have I seen anyone so organized.You will never even utter a word if I don't wish you. Amma, I am so truly sorry.

This year is special. You are celebrating your sixtieth! I did remember even on the day before. I remembered enough to order a little special something for you. If all goes right you should have it end of this month/beginning of the next. But on that day I forgot. I went on with my daily tasks and did not stop to look at the calendar and see what date it was. Bad bad me...
The dad probably didn't remember and you have never made him guilty for it. The son cannot be expected to remember. But the daughter has no excuse. Especially now that she is a mom. She should know more about 'taking for granted'. I still take you for granted don't I. Hmm....sigh...in this circle of life things always come around. Do take heart in the fact that I did not forget that your special day was coming, but only forgot on that day.
Today, ten days later I wish you a very very happy b'day. I wish you happiness and joy but you really know how to get them from every chance that life offers you. I wish you pearls and rubies, but you swear that you don't have enough chances to wear even the ones you have got. I wish you love - mine and those of everyone around you. But you have all that and more.
For all that you have done and for all that you have given me,...thank you.
And birthday wishes from the heart.
You know I mean right though it might not sound right! I love you amma....

The cycle of Peek a Boo

I started playing peek a boo with RK when he was around 3-4 months I think. I don't exactly remember. But it sure was about the time when the email from BabyCentre said 'Your child @ 4(or something) months....Try peek a boo with your infant" or something like that.
At first it got a smile. That was the best reward as any mom will attest.
Then it got to where I would say peek a boo (kaanum in Tamil actually) and he would say 'Adho!' (There...I see you) after a second or so.
The next stage was RK hiding behind the curtain or his hands and saying 'RK kaanum'. And this is the stage where RK would play this game a zillion times without getting bored. For those who have been there you know how it is.... :-)
After this peek a boo was used by me as a tool during diaper change/post bath lotion time etc. I would encourage RK to use a towel and play peek a boo since this kept him in place allowing me to put his lotion on, put his diaper on etc. At this stage RK and I also played hide and seek. I would run and hide and ask RK to find me. There were a few suspects in terms of hiding places and RK knew them. Nevertheless the moment I heard the helpless sounding 'amma' I would call out peek a boo giving away my location.
For the last couple of weeks RK would hide his face with his hands peer at me through them and play peek a boo. And even when he said 'I see you' his hands would be on his face sometimes; teasingly. Nevertheless this represented a stage when he knew how to play the game and played it all by himself with me a mere participant. This so contrasted with that initial stage when I played the game and he could only enjoy it!
Yesterday as we were driving to an uncle's house for navarathiri, RK looked at the moon from the window and said 'moon', which is great but not what matters to this post. He then moved his head to the left and said 'moon kaanum' (I cant see the moon) and then moved his head back to the right and said 'adho irrukku moon'. He did this a few times all by himself.
This to me is the cycle of peekaboo. He can now play the game by himself with anything he fancies. My dearest RK, play away with the moon and the stars in the sky. I am so so proud to see you playing this game all by yourself and figuring it out. My heart swells with pride my little one...

Traditions Torch bearers

Definitely the woman of the house! Last weekend was Tamil New Year and Vishu both of which we celebrate. What made it even more special for me was knowing that it is my son's first on both counts. Also friends from across the globe had sent emails on how they celebrated these festive occasions. It was heartening to see that most of them made the effort to celebrate in an appropriate manner. Of course, circumstances are not the same for everyone and that is understandable.
When I was in India I have been lucky enough to always stay with close relatives. I have never missed the celebration of any festival. When I moved to the US and the day of Diwali came it was a shocker for me. Not as much the lack of public celebration or fanfare but my reaction to how the day went. Being the first Diwali after marriage we had new clothes sent by both sides of the family. Adorned in all that we got together with friends to celebrate. But we landed up going to a Chinese restaurant for dinner. It was a total anti climax for me. I did not realise how disappointed I was till friends pointed out that I looked dull! From that day on I have tried to emulate celebrations as I remember them for all occasions. I find a pleasure in keeping lamps decoratively arranged for 'karthikai deepam' and making 'pori oorundai'. I will compromise and celebrate over the closest weekend for some of them. But I still take the effort for days like Vishu which cannot technically in my mind be moved to a weekend. It becomes all the more important to keep these traditions alive when the next generation is born here in a foreign country. Childhood memories of Diwali sweets and Vishu collections are so vivid in my mind. I want my children to have that with them. Yes I might even start a Xmas tree and gift under the tree tradition in spirit of where we are. Nevertheless that can only be an add on.
Many in our generation have found their own partners. While this is great it takes more of an effort to keep alive family celebrations that exist on both sides. This often means learning the ways of a new family and adopting it best to your circumstance. And there is no question in my mind that the woman of the family is the only one who can do this. It is up to her to learn so she can pass on the torch to the next generation. This is the only way traditions will stay alive and have meaning even for children born outside of their home countries so they realize and develop an affinity for celebrating festivals the traditional way.
I started this post way back sometime last year. Never got around to completing it. The current Navarathiri season inspired me to complete this post. We were at a Navarathiri golu over the weekend and one of the women there who used to be a music teacher was singing. And RK who was playing (read hanging out) with the other kids came over and sat in my lap to hear her sing. That totally amazed me. And reinforced how important all this is. And I love that RK is in that stage where he will wear a kurta if that's what I choose for him.
There are different schools of thought on what this entails. I see some women, a little older than me maybe, are interested in chanting mantras and learning new shlokas. They also take pride in teaching their children the same. With me I am not the kinds who will attend chanting or shloka classes. At least not at this point in my life. I will explain the stories behind the various festivities, encourage RK to excited about it, make the appropriate foods and generally give RK that feeling of bonding to the tradition associated with it. That I believe is most important. On a crazy day like today where the last week has been stressful as has the week so far I forget about all this and am ready to crash when I get home. I guess since we do not have any festivities this year (RK's great grandma passed away) I am mentally taking a chill pill. But knowing me I will be as gung ho the next year. The feeling of responsibility will come and I will be all prepared. May this post hold me accountable starting with New Year/Vishu in April 2010 :-)
What do you do to keep the traditions alive? Leave a comment and let us know.

Women I encounter

In most offices I have worked at the women's restroom/bathroom/loo whatever you want to call it has been located such that multiple offices/teams shared the restroom. One guilty pleasure is to speculate on the women I see there. Some I see regularly and know about. Here is a little peek into the workings of my devious mind.... (mu ha ha ha)

1. Ms. Desi - There was this lady who always took a water bottle with her to the loo. I would understand if she got it to clean/fill at the water fountain outside but she took it in with her. I can only speculate if she is not happy with the dry paper towel situation and is more conformable with the desi ishtyle, water and all.
2. Ms. Oranges - There is this one lady who peels the orange in the loo. I just don't get it. We have a full fledged kitchen on the floor and a cafeteria a few floors above both of which she has access to. But she will only peel it in the loo. Right on the counter and the peels go on a paper towel. The first time I got the citrus smell I though someone is washing/throwing a cup of Orange citrus tea (which is quite nice BTW) but turns out it is an orange itself! LOL.
   
3. Ms. Fishnet - This is a very pretty and sexy young woman who wears fishnet stockings in colors I haven't seen (read - other than black and red). She carries them off so well too. And what I like about her is that she is not at all your typical skinny blond, quite the opposite but she can look like a bomb any day of the week with those fishnet stockinged legs!
4. Ms. Clean Freak - She is this big woman who will use quarter of a roll of toilet paper and at least 10 paper towels to dry her hand after. The latter part about the paper towels I have seen multiple times. The first is mere speculation of course.
5. Ms. Ice Maiden - She is an immaculately dressed beautiful woman in her 50's. However she Never smiles or nods in acknowledgment. She has this stone cold look though her eyes look warm. Makes me wonder if it is the Botox that is preventing her from smiling :-D
6. Ms. Toothbrush - Granted dental health is important. However I do hope her dentist has advised her on how the enamel on her teeth are eroding. She has to brush after every meal/snack - at least 3 times between 9 and 5 or something like that. Amazes me...
7. Ms. Water waste - She will keep her soup/coffee cup/breakfast bowl in the sink and turn the faucet on. She will then proceed to do her business and get back. Till then the water is running. The bowl/cup overflows and water still keeps going. I have told her once in a nice way laughing through it saying oh what a lot of water. You might want to turn that off. I was greeted with a stare in return. At the cost of peace I have kept away.
8. Ms. Question - This is a lady who will find something to ask and retain you in the loo (for that matter wherever you are) It is annoying for me to talk shop in the bathroom @ work. If you have a question call/email/come over to my desk. Granted, your best thoughts might come when you are doing your business but hey...

Do you have any such stories? Leave a comment and let me know.

Sweet, Cute, Lol, Wonderful... moments

• Saturday morning you were in bed with us (but of course - RK scores are going way high in this arena) when you woke up and said 'Saturday' :-). Do you know it because both mom and dad are relaxed and in no hurry to get out of bed? What gives?
• You are now able to say complete sentences. Earlier it used to be 'amma book' for me to read a book to you. Then it became 'amma book padikkum' (amma book reading) which is a complete sentence! You can always learn to dot your I's and cross your T's in school! :-D And now you say it like 'Amma inga ukkaachi book padikkum' (amma, sit here and read the book!) We are all amazed at you doing this at 18 months. My mom says I was a talker quite early too. Hee hee most who know me can agree. And DT can vouch for that too!
  
• You kept saying what sounded like 'damake'. You are usually good about no baby talk and I know most times you mean something. I then figured it out. You were attempting to say 'Dam laga ke' (a hindi phrase used when trying to push/lift something heavy means use all your might). You had heard me say that to your dad when he was doing a chore around the house! :-)
• You like the song 'Masakali' and demand to either dance when standing on my feet or that I carry you around and dance! Whew!
• I loving call you a bunch of things like 'chella kutti, pattu kutti, thanga kutti' etc. When I ask you 'RK amma vooda?' you will say 'thanganga'. And I say 'amma loves RK' every night before bed. This evening you said 'RK loves amma' (coached by DT - who scores big for this BTW!)
• The other day you asked your grandpa to lie down (taachi), stroked his chin and said 'pattu kutti'. He was bowled over.
• You want your grandpa to sing 'Johnny Johnny' to the tune of what sounds like a classic raaga in Carnatic music.
• Your grandma used to scare your dad into eating/sleeping with tales of 'Maago'. How this 'Maago' will come grab you if you don't etc. When she said that to you for the first time, you listened with rapt attention and then demanded 'Maago' stories only to laugh when she tells them!
  
• You ask to watch 'Tom and Jerry' and are able to smile at the scenes that are funny in a slapstick way. I earlier thought it was because there was a laughter track somewhere that gave you a behaviour idea but no...even your grandpa doesn't laugh out loud or smile. How you comprehend them I have no idea.
  

Tantrums are here II

It is a tad too cold to take RK to the park. So I take him for a walk around the block promising a glimpse of the neighborhood dog and cat. We couldn't see either nevertheless...RK got excited about walking on the grass. And there is only so much grass though little shrubs, mud, stones etc all qualify. At one point he sat down at the edge of a patch of grass and declared 'Amma RK grass'. I said you are on the grass. He then said 'RK grass walk'. I just could not convince him that is exactly what we were/are/will be doing. It was an LOL moment for me! I score a laugh!

One fine morning...
4:45 AM
RK: Amma...thooki (mom, pick me up)
Me: Ignore once
RK: Amma...thooookiii
Me:Ignore twice
RK: Ammmmmmaaaa..thookiiiiii
Me: I get up to pat him back to sleep and in the process find that his clothes are wet. Diaper gave in. So I have to now change his diaper and get a new bodysuit on. I bring him to the bed, lay a sheet and lay him down.
RK: Howls...amma..thoooki..
Me: RK, diaper change, dress change then taachi (sleep)
RK is not convinced. He howls all the while with me trying to lift him a little, soothe him a little and get his changing going. DT reaches out to RK lovingly and tries to soothe him. RK gets mad and swats his hand away. Then he says..
RK: Amma, pillow
Thats when I realize RK wants to make sure he is sleeping on the bed post all this changing! Grrrr...and hee hee. Things quieten down. RK gets to sleep on the bed. RK scores one?!

3:00 PM - Saturday afternoon
DT is heating up milk for RK. I am carrying him around cause he will howl if I put him down. RK is sleepy and that means fussy! DT attempts to pour milk in the sipper.
RK (howls): Antha sippy paal (That sippy milk)
DT: Which sippy?
RK (points to one he wants)
DT proceeds to wash that sipper with RK howling all through demanding milk in that sipper only. Of course the sipper is not ready for him. And in the end RK gets his milk in 'antha' (that) sippy too! RK scores one more!