Bottle Struggles Galore!

You have never taken to the bottle happily! Ever! Forget happy - I will settle for consistently. And THAT is the problem. We started you on the bottle (Dr. Browns) in your 4th week - about the time most sources recommend for moms that are set to go back to work at 7-8 weeks. You were good the first couple of times so I got lax. And Lazy. And then we gave you a bottle  on a need be basis a couple of times - no issues. Then you developed a slight cold and a cough. Poor you - lil tiny thing coughing - it's heart breaking to listen and know there is nothing much we could do. So I nursed you more often. And by this time the time to go back to work rolled around. I was to work from home a couple of days a week. However we (my mom and I) decided to give her the bottle through the day on all week days. And there began the problem. And a note here that my son has used Dr. Browns with no problems with it! I even bought this one the glass bottles to avoid plastic! Sigh...

She would drink from the bottle but we never knew when. Sometimes she would flatly refuse the bottle. Even if she was famished she would refuse. She would cry and bawl and push the bottle away with her tongue. We then decided to try it when she was hungry enough but not famished. When in a good mood she would push it away playfully, try to swat at it and bite at the nipple. There have been days when all my mom did is try to feed her. She would start with a feed in the morning which would go on for a couple of hours. One hour of drinking and refusing cycle, one hour of mom giving her a break and then trying when she was sleepy. But there is a catch. She had to be the 'right' amount of sleepy. Too sleepy and she would bawl and cry and not drink the milk neither sleep when laid down. Not sleepy enough and she would just not take the bottle. Sigh - this girl has given my very patient mom a test of her patience! With all this happening we decided I would nurse her when she was home and thereby limit this drama to 2 days a week. Then one night being highly frustrated I went home, had dinner and headed straight to the store for bottle shopping! After reading a lot of reviews and other mommy notes online and a very useful link sent by dancer mom, I bought 3 different kinds of bottles that came with good reviews for kids that are primarily breast-fed.

Finally one works - well almost. Tommee Tippee (Thank god the 'BabiesRUs' near us was having it the day I went there as that was on the top of my list.) What that means is she will drink milk from it with way more surety than with any other brand. Now at almost 9 months we can say that she will drink from this bottle. Sometimes she still needs to be falling asleep to take the bottle. Sometimes she will still have a couple of ounces and stop. But overall, she is okay. Whew! And to think that all this just for me to reverse this process in a few months or maybe this only will be easier to wean from the bottle!

My fellow commuters

I take the bus to work most days. What I love most about it is that it has WI-Fi enabling me to be a blogger. Blogging @work especially with where I sit now is close to impossible!

Here are some of the characters I have heard encountered and remember.

• Mr. Gujju Guy - How do I know he is gujju? Cause of his accent. Now this guy is loud most days when he has found someone to talk to. And he does because he is totally non discriminatory on that arena. Anyone sitting next to him and slightly willing to talk/polite and he will talk. I do not know the guy @ all. But then again I know a lot about him. I know he has 2 kids and a wife who is a SAHM (Stay At Home Mom) by choice. He has a Sony Wii on which he likes to play Tennis. He went to India last year during thanksgiving/Christmas and will be going this year also. He plans to go back to India someday. His daughter wants to join the girl scouts but she is yet too young. He made a politically incorrect statement to a fellow commuter (a desi lady) indicating that his wife has the easier job and got blasted for it. Isn't that a lot to know about a guy I don't know. I wish he would tone it down!
• Ms. Makeup - She is a pretty looking Asian girl but doesn't believe that about herself the way I see it. She has her makeup kit out and is putting on makeup for a good 30 mins or so. Yes it makes her look good but that is because she looks good! And no, no one can believe those are your natural eyelashes!
• Ms. I have a Louis Vuitton - This lady owns a Louis Vuitton (original or no I can't tell!) And she thinks it deserves it's own seat on the bus. She will always sit on one seat towards the middle and keep her bag next to her on the adjacent seat. She will try and ignore you when you hover near her for a seat. This one time when I was pregnant I had just managed to catch the bus before it was to leave (yeah I know I know!!!) I came in panting and wanted to sit down on the first available seat. Of course it turned out this was next to Ms. LV. I am standing there with my big bag and even bigger belly and she coolly looks over her shoulder and asks 'Is there no seat at the back'? 'OMG'! I was so mad but too out of breath to say anything nasty! (thankfully!) As I commented to a friend later "Just because her LV might cost more than what my monthly ticket for the bus costs she has no right to do that".
• Mr. Having an Affair - Now, how do I know this? Well because I have ears. And because they perk up when you coo on the phone to your girlfriend and explain what lie you are going to tell your wife - loud enough for the person 2 seats behind you to hear! And he also says things like 'I can't wait to kiss you baby' etc etc.'. Takes all kinds to make this world I guess! I will say though it has made for some interesting rides!
• Mr Fan of Baseball  - This man wears a cap with the logo of the local baseball team. He is a big fan and many times wears their t-shirts as well. He Loves baseball. After a particularly important or challenging game he will call up someone and have an hour long conversation debating the merits of every ball that was played. And he is loud and if you are sitting next to him even your earphones cannot drown out his voice.

Over time I have become smarter at picking which seat I should sit on; rather who I should not sit with. Good luck to all you fellow commuters out there!

Of Mars and Venus - toddler style

1. One of the guys (drummer) had just come back from India and they(I am sure it was the Mrs selection) had gotten clothes for all the kids in the gang. That day the only girl in the gang of you boys, Snow White (as she shall henceforth be known) was also home. You had just finished lunch and she was still eating. Drummer uncle was home for lunch too (the Mrs was still back in India with the little one) and had gotten your clothes and Snow White's clothes. Once your finished lunch I excitedly opened your package and admired the colorful clothes they had gotten for you. But I could not resist wanting to open Snow White's package and look. So next that's what I did. I also took out the prettiest lace pink dress and was showing it to her and her mom. Me and her mom were gushing over how pretty it was. She sat there looking at it up and down very analytically and then said 'Can you show me the back of the dress'? It was a defining moment - she was the girl! I was so proud of her and so amused too. Sigh, I love my boy but the next time around I do think I would like a girl... (tee hee)

2. Our gang of pals had taken a vacation last year. We had all gone to a beautiful cabin at Lake Tahoe. Snow White had gotten her doll with her. One day when all was peaceful, meaning all the kids were playing with separate toys/books/napping Snow White took her doll, kept in in the high chair, offered the doll food and water and besieged her to eat. After a while the doll was forgotten on the high chair and off went Snow White to play. One of the lil guys came along, lets call him Om. Then Om proceeded to pull the doll by her hair and topple the doll's sippy etc. Then RK joined along and yanked the doll off the high chair with her hair. Then they both started banging the doll against the carpet just for fun. There was such a stark contrast to the ways of lil boys and lil girls right there built into their DNA.

My wish on #1 above came true in the fall of 2012. Now that I have one of each I can't wait to observe and hopefully record some of these moments. In some way they also help me understand this world a little better!

It was the fall of 2012 - MK is born

And there she was! All in a day's work. Almost like clockwork she came 4 days early - this one is ready I thought. My tummy was way bigger with you than with your brother. And true to that you were bigger by a pound which is a lot for a baby! You are also an all natural one - delivered the traditional way with no medication, no epidural. But I had lots of help. The other parent DT of course and your grandma, my mom. She was amazing and I would not have been able to do it without her. She encouraged me to try a natural birth even before you were ready and she was with me all through. I am sure her hands hurt with the amount of time she spent rubbing my lower back through every contraction!

The day began very early for me. A little past 3 AM I started getting some pains. And this was the real one since I had false pains for a couple of days now consistently. I knew today was the day. I tried to lie down and calm myself - but the pain was coming every 15 mins or so now. After a little bit I couldn't sleep/lie down anymore and I got up. I let DT know today was the day. Sleep well I said - I'm okay for now. It's gonna be a looong day! I then went down and (gasp!) downloaded an app on my phone to track the contractions! That was so helpful. I don't know how I thought of it but my body was pumping adrenalin through all that pain! The app was super cool - there was a button that I tapped every time my contraction started and then again every time it stopped. It then gave averages and I even emailed it to DT and I after as a souvenir - electronic one at that! My cousin R was staying over with us and was on Eastern time zone. He gave me company and we chatted all through the morning till 6:30 or so through my contractions. It helped keep me distracted! Then everyone started waking one by one. RK came down and I was trying very hard to not let him see my pain and I think I succeeded. Once he left to school though I let loose and started to notice the pain! I told DT to drop RK and come back and then said we should go to the hospital. I was now having contractions 7-8 mins apart. DT a nervous second time dad decided he had to have a haircut right that morning to welcome his dear girl (grrr&(#($)*@($)%) - exactly!!! Anyways I then tried to calm myself with a shower which worked for a little bit and then away we went.

There was drama when we got there. They would not let my mom in without a photo ID. And she had cleaned out her purse and left valuables and passport at home! Dear cousins K and P were unavailable on the phone and here was DT getting worried. On one hand there was me asking for amma and on the other he didn't want to leave me alone to go and get the passport (30 mins total). He finally reached out to one of our neighbors and she was amazing - god bless her! She went in, got the passport and came and gave it to us at the hospital. Whoa!! It was a very unlike-DT thing he did - desperate that he was! I had an amazing nurse who encouraged me to stand and move around (in hindsight I could have been a little more mobile) and even took a pic of me, amma and DT. That is a pic for keeps. By early afternoon it was all in place. At around 3 I began to push. I can still remember the intensity I had to use to push you out. At one point I wanted a break and they could not allow me that since the head was crowning! This one nurse (Filipino I think she was) got all tough on me and gave me a bunch of instructions on what to do and how. Whew! But at the end of all this - there she was. Our lil girl. Sigh! That will always bring up an image in my mind that is frozen in time. Whatever other times I might forget over time this one moment of seeing her for the first time I wont! It was definitely an emotional moment.

Through that day and the next ( a blur mostly) I remember feeling ecstatic. I was much less tired than with RK and I totally credit that to a natural delivery. I am so grateful that it worked out like that - luck and fate definitely helped!

Growing up too fast

RK saw me crying and said 'Don't cry amma'; in that tone which only he can use - part concern, part command.
And later RK told me 'Dont be sad amma, RK is with you'.
Later that evening he said 'RK is your friend amma'.

Yest I asked you to call appa to get ready to go for a haircut. You were busy playing. After a couple of mins I got up to go call him and you said 'No no amma'. You proceeded to push me back into the room and made me sit on the couch and then went out and passed on the message accurately. I didn't even have to tell you again. Now I know you are listening even when you are busy playing!

You developed a good command over language early on. I sometimes wonder if that is what mislead us at times into treating you like you were older than you actually were. It is still the case a lot of times. This is such a vulnerable age and I cant help thinking if we are doing things right. It is one of those where we do the best we can at that moment given our limitations and knowledge set and we will not know the impact of that decision till it is too late to change. Maybe I am just melancholy. But there are times when I realize how inconsistent we as parents can be and how confusing that can be to you. I am sorry.

Toddler Talk II

1. I heard some noise that sounded like water dripping and I was asking DT about it. RK chimed in 'Appa, come we will check it out'!
2. We were playing with his animals, RK and I and RK pointed to one animal and said 'this is Horse amma'. By the time I could correct him (it was a goat) he said 'No sorry goat'. I was amazed that he knew what context to use that sorry in.
3. 'Cow gives milk amma'. 'Yes kanna (endearment). That's right'. I respond. 'Cow gives milk to RK; cow gives coffee to amma' he said.
4. Post dinner one night I was cleaning up the kitchen and the lil one was running around my legs eating a strawberry. He wanted me to sit down and play with him. He said 'Sit down amma'. I obliged. After a couple of mins I started to get up again and he said 'Sit quietly amma'. And I sat laughing softly:-)
5. One Saturday morning we were playing and my pal called. She and I were chatting up and RK comes to me and says 'No phone amma'. He wanted me to keep the phone down and play with him. As simple as that.

6. Hasta la vista animals - This started as a way for me to get RK to leave an activity he was busy pursuing to change a diaper or eat dinner or have a bath etc. I didnt want to drag him away and he would always start a protest for every such situation. So I said 'Ok RK we need to say 'hasta la vista' and 'I'll be back' to the animals. And then we can come back and play after...' He caught on to that and for a couple of weeks used it on everything. There was hasta la vista elephant, tiger etc.; hasta la vista train, hasta la vista book and so on. The best part is the way RK said 'Baby'! He said it like 'Bebe-ee'.

Sense of humor

1. A couple of months ago you had just finished dinner and started playing with your animals. And then you said 'Giraffe va grass chaapada vechutaan RK.'. (I kept the giraffe to graze). You then looked up at me and said 'Giraffe kku bib pottu vidu amma'. (Put on a bib for the giraffe amma). I looked at you funny and then you started laughing. It was so funny and you knew it.
2. You and me were going through what sounds all the animals make. Then you said 'Amma, bull says?'. And I asked you back 'What does the bull say RK?'. You responded 'Bull says bull bull' :-)
3. Another time when we were reading a book you have on farm animals, I told you that paapa (young) goose are called 'gosling' and on the next page I mentioned young ducks are called 'ducklings'. We turned the page and there was a chicken with some chicks on it. You said 'Paapa chick kku peru chickling' and you laughed with your pearly whites showing and your eyes all smiling. And once I laughed, you made this joke many times afterward and still do :-)
4. Yesterday we were driving back home after a weekday dinner out. Dinner out is a rarity these days (consciously so) and on a weekday even more so. But DT and I had a stressed out week and so needed a break. Anyways, on the way back you did something really cute and I said 'Amma loves RK'. I then looked over at DT driving looking handsome with a new haircut and clean shaven etc and said 'Amma also loves appa'. You responded 'Nooo..'. I said 'Yes, amma loves RK and also amma loves appa'. You responded this time with 'Amma, don't love appa'. Needless to say DT and I burst out laughing and thankfully you are not old enough to take offense and you laughed too :-)