Definitely the woman of the house! Last weekend was Tamil New Year and Vishu both of which we celebrate. What made it even more special for me was knowing that it is my son's first on both counts. Also friends from across the globe had sent emails on how they celebrated these festive occasions. It was heartening to see that most of them made the effort to celebrate in an appropriate manner. Of course, circumstances are not the same for everyone and that is understandable.
When I was in India I have been lucky enough to always stay with close relatives. I have never missed the celebration of any festival. When I moved to the US and the day of Diwali came it was a shocker for me. Not as much the lack of public celebration or fanfare but my reaction to how the day went. Being the first Diwali after marriage we had new clothes sent by both sides of the family. Adorned in all that we got together with friends to celebrate. But we landed up going to a Chinese restaurant for dinner. It was a total anti climax for me. I did not realise how disappointed I was till friends pointed out that I looked dull! From that day on I have tried to emulate celebrations as I remember them for all occasions. I find a pleasure in keeping lamps decoratively arranged for 'karthikai deepam' and making 'pori oorundai'. I will compromise and celebrate over the closest weekend for some of them. But I still take the effort for days like Vishu which cannot technically in my mind be moved to a weekend. It becomes all the more important to keep these traditions alive when the next generation is born here in a foreign country. Childhood memories of Diwali sweets and Vishu collections are so vivid in my mind. I want my children to have that with them. Yes I might even start a Xmas tree and gift under the tree tradition in spirit of where we are. Nevertheless that can only be an add on.
Many in our generation have found their own partners. While this is great it takes more of an effort to keep alive family celebrations that exist on both sides. This often means learning the ways of a new family and adopting it best to your circumstance. And there is no question in my mind that the woman of the family is the only one who can do this. It is up to her to learn so she can pass on the torch to the next generation. This is the only way traditions will stay alive and have meaning even for children born outside of their home countries so they realize and develop an affinity for celebrating festivals the traditional way.
I started this post way back sometime last year. Never got around to completing it. The current Navarathiri season inspired me to complete this post. We were at a Navarathiri golu over the weekend and one of the women there who used to be a music teacher was singing. And RK who was playing (read hanging out) with the other kids came over and sat in my lap to hear her sing. That totally amazed me. And reinforced how important all this is. And I love that RK is in that stage where he will wear a kurta if that's what I choose for him.
There are different schools of thought on what this entails. I see some women, a little older than me maybe, are interested in chanting mantras and learning new shlokas. They also take pride in teaching their children the same. With me I am not the kinds who will attend chanting or shloka classes. At least not at this point in my life. I will explain the stories behind the various festivities, encourage RK to excited about it, make the appropriate foods and generally give RK that feeling of bonding to the tradition associated with it. That I believe is most important. On a crazy day like today where the last week has been stressful as has the week so far I forget about all this and am ready to crash when I get home. I guess since we do not have any festivities this year (RK's great grandma passed away) I am mentally taking a chill pill. But knowing me I will be as gung ho the next year. The feeling of responsibility will come and I will be all prepared. May this post hold me accountable starting with New Year/Vishu in April 2010 :-)
What do you do to keep the traditions alive? Leave a comment and let us know.
When I was in India I have been lucky enough to always stay with close relatives. I have never missed the celebration of any festival. When I moved to the US and the day of Diwali came it was a shocker for me. Not as much the lack of public celebration or fanfare but my reaction to how the day went. Being the first Diwali after marriage we had new clothes sent by both sides of the family. Adorned in all that we got together with friends to celebrate. But we landed up going to a Chinese restaurant for dinner. It was a total anti climax for me. I did not realise how disappointed I was till friends pointed out that I looked dull! From that day on I have tried to emulate celebrations as I remember them for all occasions. I find a pleasure in keeping lamps decoratively arranged for 'karthikai deepam' and making 'pori oorundai'. I will compromise and celebrate over the closest weekend for some of them. But I still take the effort for days like Vishu which cannot technically in my mind be moved to a weekend. It becomes all the more important to keep these traditions alive when the next generation is born here in a foreign country. Childhood memories of Diwali sweets and Vishu collections are so vivid in my mind. I want my children to have that with them. Yes I might even start a Xmas tree and gift under the tree tradition in spirit of where we are. Nevertheless that can only be an add on.
Many in our generation have found their own partners. While this is great it takes more of an effort to keep alive family celebrations that exist on both sides. This often means learning the ways of a new family and adopting it best to your circumstance. And there is no question in my mind that the woman of the family is the only one who can do this. It is up to her to learn so she can pass on the torch to the next generation. This is the only way traditions will stay alive and have meaning even for children born outside of their home countries so they realize and develop an affinity for celebrating festivals the traditional way.
I started this post way back sometime last year. Never got around to completing it. The current Navarathiri season inspired me to complete this post. We were at a Navarathiri golu over the weekend and one of the women there who used to be a music teacher was singing. And RK who was playing (read hanging out) with the other kids came over and sat in my lap to hear her sing. That totally amazed me. And reinforced how important all this is. And I love that RK is in that stage where he will wear a kurta if that's what I choose for him.
There are different schools of thought on what this entails. I see some women, a little older than me maybe, are interested in chanting mantras and learning new shlokas. They also take pride in teaching their children the same. With me I am not the kinds who will attend chanting or shloka classes. At least not at this point in my life. I will explain the stories behind the various festivities, encourage RK to excited about it, make the appropriate foods and generally give RK that feeling of bonding to the tradition associated with it. That I believe is most important. On a crazy day like today where the last week has been stressful as has the week so far I forget about all this and am ready to crash when I get home. I guess since we do not have any festivities this year (RK's great grandma passed away) I am mentally taking a chill pill. But knowing me I will be as gung ho the next year. The feeling of responsibility will come and I will be all prepared. May this post hold me accountable starting with New Year/Vishu in April 2010 :-)
What do you do to keep the traditions alive? Leave a comment and let us know.
2 comments:
Slightly off topic: Start RK off on some carnatic music classes, I say! Looks like he sure has the ear for them.
Yes we were thinking he might be ready by Vijayadashami next year. Have to see. :-)
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