A neighbour is getting married. A couple where both are south indian. And to anyone who has been to (most) south indian (SI as my dear pal PP calls it) weddings you know there is a lot of chanting, rituals, long hours convincing the fire god that you can handle a marriage (so to speak!). Purists, please dont judge me, just thinking out loud here in this anon world. Many north indian weddings (yes I am being very generic) have mehendi, baaraath, sangeeth etc etc. All fun stuff.
What got me wondering about all this is that this couple decided to include all the fun stuff in their wedding ceremonies. That is so cool. It also got me wondering how as a people south indians came to have weddings that are solemn, ritualistic affairs. I would understand if this were the case for south indian brahmin weddings alone since traditionally brahmins are known to practice chanting, prayer, rituals in daily life etc. But that is not the case. Why or how did a ceremony like marriage become a serious affair? Well, it is serious business I agree. But the only 'fun' in a cousin's wedding was all of us singing 'Gajara Re' albeit after asking permission from the head priest. And since this was in Mumbai and it was a SI getting married to a north indian it is probably a different story. All other SI weddings I have been to in the south have been routine affairs made interesting only by the sarees, jewellery, gossip etc...(including mine yes).
Kerala weddings (on the basis of the 3 I have been to) are simple and short. That is in keeping with the kind of culture there. The people are generally well managed. Everyone is seated and the ceremony takes place and then everyone proceeds to wish the couple and have their lunch. In fact at a friend's wedding where a bunch of us had gone (guys and gals) a funny incident took place. The guys expecting it would be long drawn ceremony out went sightseeing for a couple of hours and by the time they got back the wedding was over! Ha ha... and to think we had all gone miles to be there for it :-) (That wedding story is another post)
There is the 'nelengu' that is the 'fun' element to SI weddings. Granted, these days it is optional and some couples/families choose not to have it. Personally I think the reason for that is at the end of all the wedding ceremonies (2 days), most couples would rather rest than take the effort to participate in this and I cannot blame them. This 'ceremony' has a certain set of games that the bride and groom play which are meant to bring a level of casualness to the whole solemn affair.
But hey, do leave a note on how much of 'fun' your wedding was!
What got me wondering about all this is that this couple decided to include all the fun stuff in their wedding ceremonies. That is so cool. It also got me wondering how as a people south indians came to have weddings that are solemn, ritualistic affairs. I would understand if this were the case for south indian brahmin weddings alone since traditionally brahmins are known to practice chanting, prayer, rituals in daily life etc. But that is not the case. Why or how did a ceremony like marriage become a serious affair? Well, it is serious business I agree. But the only 'fun' in a cousin's wedding was all of us singing 'Gajara Re' albeit after asking permission from the head priest. And since this was in Mumbai and it was a SI getting married to a north indian it is probably a different story. All other SI weddings I have been to in the south have been routine affairs made interesting only by the sarees, jewellery, gossip etc...(including mine yes).
Kerala weddings (on the basis of the 3 I have been to) are simple and short. That is in keeping with the kind of culture there. The people are generally well managed. Everyone is seated and the ceremony takes place and then everyone proceeds to wish the couple and have their lunch. In fact at a friend's wedding where a bunch of us had gone (guys and gals) a funny incident took place. The guys expecting it would be long drawn ceremony out went sightseeing for a couple of hours and by the time they got back the wedding was over! Ha ha... and to think we had all gone miles to be there for it :-) (That wedding story is another post)
There is the 'nelengu' that is the 'fun' element to SI weddings. Granted, these days it is optional and some couples/families choose not to have it. Personally I think the reason for that is at the end of all the wedding ceremonies (2 days), most couples would rather rest than take the effort to participate in this and I cannot blame them. This 'ceremony' has a certain set of games that the bride and groom play which are meant to bring a level of casualness to the whole solemn affair.
But hey, do leave a note on how much of 'fun' your wedding was!
2 comments:
First of all, I thought you were more of Bombay girl than SI but sorry to say you damaged that image by your 'Gajara re' mistake for 'Kajra re'.
Talking of marriages, I haven't attended any SI weddings (even you didn't invite me - I know you didn't know me then) but yes being a North Indian (not from my looks but from ancestral history - grandparents coming from UP) NI weddings are full of fun and show offs. There is Mehendi, sangeet, baaraat, Muh-dikhai (bride show-ff) etc. My wedding was fun. I would like to share a funny incident though. I knew my hubby-to-be (at that time) before - as my boyfriend - so I was cool with him at the wedding and my cousin and sister were forcing me to look 'little' shy as I was the bride...i shrugged my shoulder saying...hey I know this guy from college so why should I be shy!!
Sangeet was fun too - as dancing is my passion. There was no muh-dikhai as I am married to gujju and they don't believe in show-offs. So overall fun experience! Well I may have seen my wedding video only once!
I know...Darn! I guess married to a more pure SI has corrupted me.
I went LOL at the incident. I cannot imagine a shy Rashmi...:-)
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